Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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