Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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