If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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