giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
