Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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