no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
