my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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