I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
