she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
