Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
