Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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