Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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