you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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