Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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