i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
