I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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