Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I will be naked everywhere
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
