***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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