My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
