Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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