Where is the hickey?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
