On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
True strength comes from lack of pants
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
