I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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