I'm laying in your front yard are you home
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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