Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
