do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
