I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
