Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
