Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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