Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize