party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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