right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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