9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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