She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
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Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
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Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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