You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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