just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
