A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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