my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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