I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
