i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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