Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
