Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize