Soap is not a condiment
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
