are you so shy because you have an std?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
