Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
