At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
