My room smells like vodka and shame
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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