This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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