Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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