i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
