Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
