I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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