Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
