WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
