he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Blood and glitter go together right?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
