Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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