Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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