one might say we're banned from that church
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
