did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
