i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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