Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
