the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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