so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
