What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Congratulations! We have a period
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
