I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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