Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
