Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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