i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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