no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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