I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
